We started our journey where most great journeys end, the golden hills and sunny beaches of mother Fucking California. Where we are going now is a infamous lake that is situated on the American-Canadian border and is in parts of New York (or Naw Yawk lol :) and Vermont. We are of course visiting the grandfather of lake dwelling Cryptids in North America. Champ, Lake Champlain’s very own Nessy.
Champ, Champie, Champy, Champoo, Champilike, or as the Natives Called it “Champ” is a freshwater dwelling plesiosaur that was frozen in an iceberg and survived until it melted creating the lake and trapping the plesiosaur in the lake. A plesiosaur is like this giant lizard that can swim and shit. So now Champ roams free, it’s diet consists of schools of fish and probably the homeless from time to time. Their have been reported sightings of Champ since 1600’s when settlers were fighting the Iroquois (A Native American tribe) on the banks of the lake, and the settlers reported seeing the creature multiple times. Although ‘scientists’ and the ‘discovery’ channel will tell you that those documents with the reports on them were proven to be hoaxes and only date back to the 1970’s, yea right bud. You could say that Champ is the CHAMPion of not getting discovered. Greedy circus baron P.T. Barnum offered a 50,000 reward to the men who could bring him a Champ carcass so the sick fuck could display it at his circus. In the early 2000’s sightings started to spike and there have been dozens of reported sightings every year since then. It is all right here in front of us, why would psycho circus baron B.T. Barnum want Champ if he was not real, why on google when you search for ‘Champ’ is Champ the third result right under Champs Footwear? I will tell you why, because Champ is real. Again I offer proof that not even those dickweeds at the NPS (National Parks Service) can dispute… it’s all about the photos bayyyybay.
Jeremy pointing out the obvious like a Champ! #ChampIsReal
Those fuck offs at the NPS say this is a “large floating log.” I say, fuck off.
Bing Bang Boom, we got ourselves Champ. #Proof #ThatisTotallyNotaDogSwimming #ItsChamp
Come back so we can continue our journey.
-Kev
The Squatch Watcher
